Should have stayed in Victoria

OK. So we have been gone now for almost two months. Like usual I am behind on things. Nothing new. And before I start, Wendy if you are reading this, okay you were right. You can rub my face in it next time I talk to you.

We moved here because of the fact that James was going to be here for over a year and with my medical condition we thought that I would get more help here seeing how we both have so much family around. Boy were we wrong. Yes we did have help moving in but after that....nothing.

Yes I am happy that we are closer to family and that I have been able to see my oldest sister Michelle a couple weeks ago (which was AWESOME, I love hanging out with her, Greg and Nic). I also got to see my cousin Carrie last Friday for coffee and I haven't seen her since our Grandma Moran died, which was about 17 YEARS AGO!! So that too was cool. Keenan even got to meet her and he thought that was neat to see "Moran" on her name tag.

But as for help. Just not in the cards I guess. My condition is getting worse as I have a great bit of difficulty going up and down the stairs now and will avoid them if I have to. Which means a lot of nights on the couch during the week when James isn't home. I can not pick up Haylei any more so if she is putting up a stink about going to bed there really is nothing I can do without being able to pick her up and carry her up those damn stairs. I really wish that I knew someone else with this condition because only they would know the type of pain that I am in CONSTANTLY. From days that sitting, standing laying hurt to the days where when one of my kids gently taps me as they play and it sends me to tears because of how much it hurts to touch my skin.

I almost wish that I had some big ugly cast or wound to look so people could SEE the pain and understand. When you can't see it it is harder to understand I guess.

At my physio appt yesterday my physio guy basically told me that he has to give up on me. Not because he wants to but because we aren't making any progress. As physio is a part of my unit (the base hospital) he said that he hates coming into my office and seeing me in pain but not being able to help me. So next week he will be talking to my dr to see if there is someone else around or in Barrie that may have more experience in dealing with my condition. Or to refer me to a pain management clinic. It sucks because he was the only one "helping" me and now it feels like he is done with me too. I understand what he is saying but it still sucks.

But enough about me and my ranting because as usual it is my mommy to the rescue. I have an appt with the neuro surg in Toronto mid Jan and then my dr's figure surgery shortly after that to at least fix the herniation. As for the rest of the condition, we won't know anything until that appt. But that is still over a month away which doesn't sound like long but in my situation a week sounds too long. So my mommy is going to come and help. From the sounds of it she will be coming after Christmas and staying until after that surgery...or until James get home in May. Yes it sounds like a long time but that just shows how much AWESOME my mommy is. Not that I wish any sort of trouble in my kids futures but if they do have any I only wish that I can be as great of a mother to them and help them in any way as my mommy is to me.

Maybe the next post I will actually post some pics but as of now I can't sit in this chair and type any more.