And the cherry on top....

Thats right. Not that I didn't have enough to deal with but now they are thinking that I have fibromyalgia on top of the spondylosis. Another disease that you can not get rid of. AWESOME!! Seriously??!! What is next??

After talking to my dr about it and to my mother in law who (the poor lady) has it too it all sounds oh too creepily familiar almost right down to the last symptom. I am hoping that they come up with something else or say that it is all caused by the spondylosis but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I am waiting now for appts with a neurologist, a pain clinic and back to physio and all I am hoping for is for someone somewhere to find a EXPLAINABLE reason as to what all of this stuff going on is and FIX it. Even though I know (and don't want to admit) that probably won't happen.

My father in law Ron sent this to me today and it explains the Fibromyalgia very well.

MY NAME IS FIBROMYALGIA
by Terri Been
Hi....My Name is Fibromyalgia, and I'm an Invisible Chronic Illness. I am now velcroed to you for life. Others around you can't see me or hear me,but YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyhow I please.
I can cause severe pain or, if I'm in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.

Remember when you and Energy ran around together and had fun?
I took Energy from you, and gave you Exhaustion. Try to have fun now! I also took Good Sleep from you and, in its place, gave you Brain Fog. I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal. Oh, yeah, I can make you feel anxious or depressed, too. If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away, too. You didn't ask for me. I chose you for various reasons:

That virus you had that you never recovered from, or that car accident,
or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma. Well, anyway, I'm here to stay!I hear you're going to see a doctor who can get rid of me. I'm rolling on the floor, laughing. Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively. You will be put on pain pills,sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression,given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away, told to think positively, poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken as seriously as you feel when you cry to the doctor how debilitating life is every day.

Your family, friends and coworkers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and that I'm a debilitating disease. Some of they will say things like "Oh, you are just having a bad day" or"Well, remember, you can't do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago", not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago. Some will just start talking behind your back, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a
"Normal" person, and can't remember what you were going to say next!In closing, (I was hoping that I kept this part a secret), but I guess you already
found out...the ONLY place you will get any support and understanding in dealing
with me is with Other People With Fibromyalgia.

Neuro Appt

My first post on this one is here.

My second post is here.

And it is in part of my (may not have been one of my finer moments) rant here.


Newest Update on the Spondylosis...


So I had my neuro surg appointment today and it does not look good for me.

He is concerned at how bad my neck is for my age as this condition isn't usually seen in women until their 50's or 60's and for someone my age to have the results I do he said it(my neck) is aging way too fast.

The MRI results that he looked at today were the ones from back in Sept that I had done in Victoria but he said that they were too poor of a quality for any concrete answers today but the prognosis was basically have another MRI to clear up the pics (another month or longer waiting for that) and then he will come to a conclusion on whether or not he will even do anything about it now. There is the possibility that surgery MAY get done but even if he decides to do it all all it will do is reduce the pain and numbness/tingling in my arm and arm alone. It will do nothing for any of the other pains that I have in my legs, neck, feet, back...anywhere. I am going to be stuck with this forever.

Boy did that ring in my ears...I will be stuck with this...FOR EVER. That is a long time. So even if he does the surgery it will only lessen ONE pain. He even said that I should expect this to be a chronic and ongoing battle. "Even with surgery there is NOTHING that can be done about the rest of the pains or about my neck itself."

WOW!! I mean I was warned that this would probably the end of my career because of the underlying issue. But I don't think that it was until today that it REALLY sunk in that my life and career as I know it is over. Now I have to figure what I want to be when I grow up again...what kind of "normal" job and I going to get with this condition??? Who in their right mind is going to hire someone who is going to have medical issues for EVER and won't be reliable as to if she is going to be at work for times on end??? Because it is known that I will be battling this pain...for EVER!! I don't know or think that I will be able to hold down a "normal" job. Now what the hell am I going to do???

Hey Ange....what are your thoughts on me going back to school for accounting and doing contract work from home?? I'ld love to hear if that may be a possibility for me now. How difficult is it to get contract work??

Or is anyone knows or has any ideas as to what I should try to do from home or on a part time basis that is going to bring in a decent pay. This is going to rock my family's life as we know it. There is NO WAY we can go down to one pay. Its WAY too early for me to "retire" and not bring in any cash at all.

What a huge word that is....FOREVER.

Its kind of a trip to see the progression over the last four to five months hey?? And this is my life. Like it or NOT.